You may think giving up life as you know it to move to a foreign country and live like locals sounds spontaneous - exotic, even. Sometimes, we imagine walking up to a random gate with a suitcase and taking the next flight out of the airport. We imagine what life would be like if we were living a permanent vacation. People even set countdown clocks 'til retirement. Mine - 31 years, 11 months, & 20 days. But what if I'm not ready for a permanent vacation?
Today was a day that made me think - What. Am. I. Doing?
Being surrounded by people who I enjoy spending long work days with, who challenge me to better myself, who exhaust my critical-thinking and problem-solving skills daily truly makes me wonder how I could be so crazy to walk away from it. I'm sitting in a meeting today, and it hit me: today was the last day I stood in front of a class and made my impression on these new employees ready to start their new adventurous career with our organization. Today was the last day I sat in a team meeting and shared my valued knowledge that would impact my team's success when I'm gone. Today was the last day that I would put on a sunny smile regardless of how I was feeling and say "Good Morning!" to my teammates who wouldn't be there tomorrow. Today was my last chance to say how much I appreciated all of the opportunity & mentorship I received when my career finally began with my organization.
Up until this point, I have been filled with the sweet endless excitement & fear swirled together like a chocolate/vanilla soft-serve cone, but I boxed it up while trying to accomplish my mission. Do not fail my team. Say NO to short-timers disease. People would ask me daily how I was feeling, but I never truly divulged those emotions. I was excited, but there was work to get done. Well now the work is done, and I'm thinking, "Am I really ready for a permanent vacation?"
The simple answer to this is no.
Living in Bulgaria will not be a vacation. Sure, I won't be working a traditional job initially. My new title, StayAtHome Mom, may end up being one of the most difficult jobs I will ever have in my lifetime. Transitioning my family and rooting us in a land of foreign words, food, and culture will be hard work. My career is merely shifting. My priorities are shifting. Today may be my last day at my job, but it is not my last day. #SoMuchMoreLifeToLive
